I’m working on the inside me while trying to ignore the outside images of perfect yoga gurus, green smoothies, and Celine wearing bloggers dashing into the streets that appear on Instagram and such.
All in Family
What hurts us more? Not knowing that you can control anything or knowing it and still wanting to. Knowing that you can save your self from pain, except you can't. Knowing it's better for someone you love to go through something than for us to try and change the outcome. We limit ourselves so much in the avoidance of pain that we end up cheating ourselves from the freedom in living.
The art of engagement was taught to me by my older brother. At times stealth was necessary, also; screaming, stunts, laughter and tears. It has taken me a long time, and numerous misguided conversations, fights and hurt feelings to realize that not all people are willing to confront another. Instead, emotions from ten, twenty, or thirty years ago can sit guardedly waiting to bite an unsuspecting soul.
When I locked eyes with him and saw the chalky line of the tear stain down his brown cheek, I felt the pain in his soul. Handing him the five dollar toll, I only had a few seconds to communicate that my heart hurt for him.
