Time Isn't Waiting for Me Anymore...

As with everything in my life there is a time that changes everything. My parents are numb to any proclamation: I'm moving to the beach, I quit my job, I'm starting a new career, I'm buying a magazine, I'm pregnant, I'm going back to college, and sometimes.. I'm staying where I am. 

The Answers

What if there are no answers to life's biggest questions? I submit that there are not. The why's, what if's and when's.. you can pack those up and put them away.  It's not that there aren't answers to things, it's that the answers to the questions we seek are either already known inside our gut or cannot be known. We can pray, we can work, we can hope, but at the end of the day we will never know how everything is going to work out until it's all worked out. 

Limiting Yourself Can Be Dangerously Boring

Supposing this; everything material and idealistic that you personally desire can be attained. What will this feel like as we sit upon our quixotic mountaintop? Will we look out at the world and say “Aha! I have arrived!!” or will we look across the valley and see another mountain to climb?


There is a magic 8 ball on my daughter's desk. I shake it and ask if I will be able to write tonight? "Outlook Good" it says.. and so I click clack away at the keyboard in an effort to throw the dust off my heart.  Things have been good here but hard...


When I locked eyes with him and saw the chalky line of the tear stain down his brown cheek, I felt the pain in his soul. Handing him the five dollar toll,  I only had a few seconds to communicate that my heart hurt for him.


A circle is miraculous. And I cannot help but see the the undeniable correlation between the quantitative mathematical certainties of nature to my life, as well as yours. I have always seen my life as circular, coming from a point of innocence and traversing and radiating in many different directions that equated to the same place. 


The first day of a new semester is always nerve racking, exciting, and full of possibilities. Who doesn’t love the unknown, especially when 23 of 24 hours of your day is predictable?  Today as I walked on campus for the first time this semester I felt strangely out of my own body.  Time froze as I stood in the midst of all the young bodies, full of anticipation as they rushed in herds to their classes, chatting excitedly, and walking purposefully.

If You Didn't Know Her

A long time ago, when my daughter was so little that she was just a bundle of turbulence and fun, I met a camp counselor at her school, named Ariyana. I remembered her name because she reminded me of a princess, and she always had the biggest smile on her beautiful face.. no matter what the kids were doing. 


Something to Believe In

Time stopped. One of them said, "Don't fight" The other one said, "Don't fight." I looked at them.. thought of my husband and said, "How?" Linda looked at me through her steely blue eyes and even slightly bent over she commanded, "Just walk away, it doesn't amount to a hill of beans what you have to say but it stays with you forever."


When Failure is an Option

The day had simply reduced me to tears as I looked around at the destroyed house with mounds of pee-stained laundry and dirt that the puppy keeps tracking in.  The weird thing was that I haven't out- loud cried for a while.

Like dominoes I see marriages falling down. Some for more obvious and irrevocable circumstances than others. The shock can be incredible when you see a friend blindsided, their life turned upside down, their kids manipulated, and their home divided. I'm not pretending to be God here and judging everyone, I'm just noticing something that shocks me.