The Unseen Wife
There she was - a vision if I ever saw one. Staring at her reflection in the window of the bridal shop as I stared back at her from the outside. She stood on a raised pedastal like a goddess in white, with her hair cascading over her shoulders as her friends gasped and she froze—transfixed on the beauty and power of her own reflection.
Standing in the street through the window we caught each other’s eye. I knew exactly what she was feeling in that moment. Everything in her life she saw anew, as if she would be wearing that dress through it all, and she looked from her pedestal at me outside the window as a queen would look at a poor wandering peasant. So I carried on. The image of everything she thought she would be stayed with me. Because the rest of us know the truth about that image of perfection that comes with the dress and the wedding and the instagram images.
Most wives and moms are less than perfect but their beauty is in their imperfections. I see them struggling with their toddler at the grocery store, or running to get the diaper bag at the park, or carting their tweens to the mall. I see them cheering for their teenager at their games and giving up every weekend hour to drive to tournaments. They don’t see themselves the way the young woman in the bridal shop saw herself that day, but they should. They are the real goddesses.
Most women put aside their ego to be a wife. Often juggling work, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and taxi driving before considering that they might have other dreams, the dreams they exchanged to be an imperfect wife and do boring things perfectly.
And then if you are still there, thirteen years goes by. The house is quieter, your wife might start wanting to be seen. Because the kids don't see her anymore as a goddess. And you don't see her anymore as a goddess, or even as the woman that she was before she gave up everything she knew to be there, for everything.
And as you look around at all that you have don’t forget to see what you have.
I don’t need to tell you do I.
All she wants is to be seen. Because she’s almost forgotten who she was before the dress and the wedding and her dreams. She is more beautiful than ever. Just look.