There is no secret to marriage: it's about laughing and crying and giving and taking.
There is no secret to marriage. Simply put marriage is a commitment. It's showing up and wearing your heart inside out and it's about laughing and crying and giving and taking. It will test the best in you and takes everything and more to succeed. Everything and more.
I would be very concerned if your marriage did not challenge you in every way. In fact, I would posit that the very definition of marriage is in the challenge and hopefully in the success each time you figure something new out about yourselves. Reality and marriage go hand in hand. Even in circumstances such as "The Bachelor" with youth, exotic locations and champagne flowing these marriages can't survive after a month of reality. The best of marriage will come when it gets the best of you. It's the digging in, it's the feels, it's the shit stirring. It's the defining of who you are and what you will take and mostly, what you will give. And after all of that, it's quite beautiful.
If you are willing to learn the ultimate in all lessons of humility, forgiveness, acceptance and often irony than you are a candidate for the ultimate of all tests, because marriage will test all of these and more. The beauty of marriage is in the commitment. It's in the hand holding, and the child raising, and the friendships and the bonds that are indescribable. I cannot describe why or what makes my marriage. It works because I don't want to be without Bryan. He's my best friend. He drives me nuts, but it works that he drives me nuts because I would be bored and lonely without him. I miss him the second he walks out the door.
Marriage is the end. It's not the beginning. It's looking towards the end and knowing that you will have the memories and the friendships and the dreams with this person. And you trust that person to be with you at the end, and you want that person to be with you at the end. It's not a big secret. It's a big commitment. It's wanting and waiting and. . . being willing.